The Transition Realization, part 2

As Anjay and I traveled through Varanasi together on my last leg of the journey, we just kept questioning who is closer to the truth? Not who has it better, not who’s more advanced, not- wow look at what they don’t have compared to us. No, the main question again was who really lives in the truth of freedom? Varanasi definitely forever changed me and my understanding of the world as I watched dead bodies burn at the ghats and then the bones offered to the Mother Ganga. I also saw lepers (leposy is very much a real thing in India) struggle on the streets and held my hands over a dying puppy in an alley, sending him reiki, knowing it’s best to let him pass then keep him alive. Not to mention the countless amounts of people bathing in pure toxic filth but in their minds the water is sacred, holy, pure and so to them that truth is a reality. They have no definition of dirty and so they simply don’t see dirt (at least not the way we see dirt). It’s all the human mind’s perception and so instead they see beauty. Beauty in all that they have, including death. It’s known as the spiritual capital of the world and death is very much a part of life in Varanasi. They truly live in the understanding that we are spiritual beings having a human experience and not human beings having a spiritual experience and it’s incredible. Incredible India! Right? Their daily lives are filled with worship and spirituality. It’s such a powerful force of surrendering to the higher consciousness that it only makes sense through chaos. Only re-enforcing the idea that things don’t have to be linear. The temples were breathtaking, overwhelming, and stunning but they’re also a bit spooky, intense, and strange. The strangeness comes from the energy of the people. The idea that spirituality is this notion of tranquility and meditative bliss through the silence of the divine and you truly connecting in spirit couldn’t be more off when it comes to the temples of Varanasi. Well at least what I saw, granted it was Shivarati. What I was exposed to felt a little more like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It was the most intense thing I’ve ever experienced and was in no way calming as lines of hundreds of people forcefully shoved themselves into the small room and obsessively worshiped the statue on the altar. It was so crazy that the Indian army patrol the main temple of Shiva, and I actually saw one guard hit a woman on the head and kick her out of the way because she was in some spastic trance as she kept chanting and rubbing the Shiva Lingum while pouring milk over it. At this point it wouldn’t have been out of the norm for some real Indiana Jones shit like say some Sadhu possibly ripping someone’s heart out as an offering and that person gladly giving up their heart all in the name of Lord Shiva! Om Namah Shivaya!

However, on a more personal level and not something so intense, I can share what I specifically took away from India and that is the power of the word and honoring commitments big or small. Coming from 10 years in the land of supreme bullshit- Hollywood- I realized that I too adapted to a level of bullshit through my words. Here you can say really whatever you want and whether it’s true or not really isn’t the point. I’ve grown accustom to the façade. Oh we’re definitely making your movie, we will hire you for that project, yes I am going to the party, I do own a production company even a simple… I’ll call you right back is nothing more than a smoke and mirrors party where the smoke is usually marijuana and the mirrors are used for cocaine.  Yep it’s quite the rave the Entertainment Industry’s got going over here in the west of the West. Therefore I caught myself several times throughout my journey just saying yes to people to get them to go away knowing full well I was not going to meet them for that coffee or go on their tour or even buy that plane ticket which ended up costing me $60.  I just said sure not thinking the man would actually purchase the ticket first before I paid him. I figured I’d just disappear and get the ticket cheaper somewhere else without just telling him that in the first place. You are held accountable for your word no matter how small you may think it is. If you casually say in passing them on the streets sure I’ll go on that tour… then that means you are 100% going on that tour and they are waiting for you to show up. If you say I’ll come back tomorrow. The next day they will wait outside until you pass by and then expect you to get that piece of jewelry you were looking at. Yet all across America, shoppers are constantly telling the salespeople they’ll “be back tomorrow” and it means nothing. Instead, it’s what we’ve created as a polite way to tell people no, essentially by telling a lie, where at the end of the day no one is hurt. However what it does is further enforce our own denial of truth and how to live in it. Does it not? But yes, my words were put under scrutiny as I found myself flaking out a lot because plans would change or something better would come along or I just no longer felt like doing it at that time. I really caught myself in McLeod Ganj when I was truly by myself and I had to actively work on being more cautious as well as true to my word for the rest of the trip. It’s definitely something I’m taking with me as I gear up to re-enter the Hollywood arena where bullshit’s served like hot dogs. Get it while it’s hot!  But I also know I can only hold myself accountable and no one else. Let’s play ball!

The transition realization, part 1

Hello everyone and I apologize for the delay in posts. While I was in India I actually sold my condo! Yep, I’ve been trying to sell that thing for years and of course it finally happens whilst in India. I was sitting next to a chanting Tibetan Monk at the Green Hotel café just e-signing away my place, laughing at the irony of it all. Oh, what magic! It could not have been more perfect. However, that meant the second I hit US soil I pretty much had to be out. I had precisely 7 days to find a new place to live as well as move out of my place I’ve been in for 7 years. It was one of the craziest weeks of my life but India certainly prepared me for it. I spent the days frantically driving around West LA looking at horrid, cat liter box sized, carpeted nightmares to possibly live in. Then spent all night packing up my entire life. It’s insane how much one human can accumulate in a couple of years. I made four trips to Goodwill with my SUV packed to capacity, sold things on Craigslist, gave away furniture, dropped food off at the food bank, and still had 15 boxes full of crap I needed to take with me.

After just coming from a place where I saw 10 people sharing one room with only the clothes on their backs as their “must haves.” I gotta say I couldn’t help but feel like quite the 1^st world asshole when I watched the movers lug my dishes, bed, bedding, and enough clothing  to provide for a whole block of people into the truck to be brought to a new space I will live in alone and share with no one but myself.  Good God we come with so much baggage here! Simplicity definitely keeps you free. But as Americans we’re conditioned to think we need all these lavish things in order to survive, like we’ll die without that down comforter or pea coat from JCrew. And trust me, I’ll be the first one to admit that pea coat is damn cute!

It will be 2 months since India on Monday and honestly it’s like it was all a dream. Did it actually happen? Was I really exposed to a reality that exists so far separate from mine? But it’s not even about mine. I’m talking on a level of what we have, are, get, live, and experience as Westerners versus what they get to experience as Easterners. My specific life and how it differs… Well that’s more like when we all had the pleasure of realizing Billy Ray Cyrus had a daughter- it takes ridiculousness and shocking to a whole new level.  As if Achy Breaky Heart wasn’t enough. I realized so many unnecessary things about my life like my Mom telling me I should immediately buy a new place for an atrocious amount of money because God forbid you “piss your money away on rent” as if the concept of rent is somehow not living up to its duty of providing shelter for humans… A privilege a lot of people don’t enjoy in India. Not to mention, that kind of money could revolutionize an entire city there.

So yes, the transition back has been quite an intense one. First off, everything here is so quiet and orderly. Cars driving on the streets sound like nothing more than a casual ripple of a wave on a calm day at the beach. And I love how the cars we drive scream at you if you don’t put your seat belt on within seconds of turning it on. Meanwhile, in India 90% of the time you’re in a Tuk- Tuk where they simply laugh at your pathetic concerns for safety. There are no seat belts and they don’t need them, Incredible India! Oh yeah, that’s the saying there- Incredible India! Whenever something doesn’t make sense like, say driving up the middle of oncoming traffic in the heat of stampede hour (rush hour is an understatement there so I prefer to call it stampede hour- you truly never know what type of herd could be plowing towards you at any second in the wonderful adventures of Tuk-Tuking.) But yes, it is physically impossible that we’re not hitting anyone as we soar up the middle of oncoming traffic and what’s even more bizarre is the oncoming trafficteers response. No one is outraged by this. There’s no shouting, bird flipping, or cop calling. It just happens, all works out, and the flow remains uninterrupted. Fucking A, we’re still alive, how is this possible!? Slowly the westerner will gain their voice back and upon asking the driver to explain the unexplainable their single response will be- head bobble- INCREDIBLE INDIA! And that’s it, nothing more will nor needs to be said. 

Now cut back to America. As I sit at one of those 4 way stoplights by UCLA- the ones where all traffic is stopped while the pedestrians get to walk in all four directions and are even allowed to get a little wild by walking within the lines of the diagonal walkway that runs through the intersection. I clearly see just how well trained and obedient we are to the system. Like clockwork, the white man lights up on the traffic signal and the humans walk. The countdown begins and we safely make it across. Next the greenlight shines and the cars punctually accelerate. Honestly after India, watching all this feels very robotic. Nothing keeps you more alive than dodging through traffic and allowing yourself to have nothing but trust in this incomprehensible force- that you will in fact- not get hit. But it’s the truth, you don’t, and by the end of the trip I found myself not even looking as I casually cut across four lanes of traffic twisting one way to avoid a cow then turning another way to miss that cyclist. Abruptly stopping to let the Tuk- Tuk pass before maneuvering around a pile of shit to dart through an opening that only lasts a split second but voila! I am across and the whole moment is forgotten as quickly as it happened. Yet here I stand in LA on a street that looks like 90% of the other streets across upscale America. You know, the perfectly manicured trees and bushes, beep-beep sounds of cars locking on the command of their owner's key chains as they methodically walk to get their Starbucks. Lululemon-ed housewives systematically scurrying from store to store preoccupied by their smartphones, buildings all relatively the same size and color with cutesy lampposts decorating the sidewalks.  Yeah, you know the routine. There’s one in every town. 

So here I stand in what the media has sculpted as America’s dream and I find myself actually nervous as that ticking countdown flashes. What? It’s a total false sense of fear as well as security. Trust me if all hell broke loose in the world, India would be just fine and we’d be the ones who wouldn’t make it due to the sheer fact that we simply would not know how without rules and order. We’ve been trained well my friends. I mean, the fact that over here we are slowly shifting into a society that doesn’t even have to flush their own shit is somewhat unnecessary, is it not? Seriously, I am noticing more and more public bathrooms that have the automatic flushers installed on their toilets while in India most of the bathrooms don’t even have toilets. Quite the drastic gap, huh?  I see us becoming more and more dependent on a system that was created by humans for humans but is in no way human- of our human nature that is. 

    I’d have to say the biggest question I take away from this whole experience is: who here is more free? Is it us in the “1^st world” or them in the “3^rd world”? It’s shocking that we both in fact exist in THIS world. More to come...